


As You've Always Been

by positronic



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gender Identity, Gentleness, M/M, Mentions of Violence, Nonbinary Steve Rogers, Other, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, supportive tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:54:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24392383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/positronic/pseuds/positronic
Summary: There are things about the 21st century that Steve's been paying attention to more than others.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 6
Kudos: 103





	As You've Always Been

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is very self-indulgent. I tried to explore bits of what being nonbinary means to me, so hopefully that came through. I realize that much of what's in here is very surface level and not actually indicative of gender identity specifically, as men can be as feminine as they want, but in my mind, following this, Steve does a lot more exploration with gender with Tony's (and the rest of the team's) support. I just wanted to write something short + cute :-)
> 
> Also, I use "he" for Steve because I imagine that's what he's comfy with. Maybe he experiments with other pronouns in the future? Who knows! 
> 
> Thanks to LonghornLetters for beta-ing/cheer-reading!

Ever since Steve had been subjected to the serum and subsequently thrown into war, he was observant.

Sure, he was observant before all that, but now it was like it had been dialed up to eleven. It was extremely helpful on the battlefield and when the Avengers were called out, but even when he wasn’t actively on alert, he noticed things. He noticed the hushed conversations between two people in the cafe he liked to frequent; he noticed the subtle shake of someone’s hands as they rode the subway, unable to rid the winter chill from their bones; he noticed the way people’s eyes lingered on him as they passed on the street, as much as they tried to be discreet about it. 

It was just another part of his everyday life at this point, simple passing thoughts as he went about his day, stopping by the SHIELD offices or working out or perusing the grocery store and getting overwhelmed, despite having been in the future for nearly a year now. 

But there were other things he noticed too, some more obvious than others. 

\----

The first time he noticed something relating to this… issue, was during a group movie night with the rest of the Avengers. 

Movie nights had quickly become a Thing, with a capital “T,” after the events of the Chitauri invasion, all of them secretly desperate for some sort of camaraderie, and those nights had just as quickly become Steve’s favorite part of the 21st century. 

During this movie night, Thor had requested to watch a movie called _Marley and Me_ after hearing Jane and Darcy talk about it a few weeks ago, and everyone else had agreed without much complaint. 

All of them were curled up in the living room after inhaling an absurd amount of Chinese takeout. Clint and Natasha were practically sitting on top of each other in the corner of the couch with Bruce sitting calmly next to them and looking undisturbed. Tony was sitting next to Bruce with Steve’s feet in his lap as Steve sprawled across the couch, and Thor was sitting on the ground next to Steve. Steve felt guilty for taking up so much space, but Thor had assured him he was comfortable on the ground and would let him know if that changed. 

Steve didn’t put up much of a fight, anyway. It was nice to stretch out, and the gentle touch of Tony’s hands on his ankles was nice. This thing between them was still relatively new, but Steve relished in any bit of attention Tony would give him.

The movie passed by quickly, and by the time they were nearing the end, Steve was no longer paying attention. He knew he should be, but instead his eyes were fixed on Clint and Natasha. Natasha had her arm wrapped around Clint’s shoulders and pulled him in close to her. Clint was visibly sobbing, though quietly, and clutching Natasha’s shirt in his fists, seemingly unconcerned that he was crying in front of all of them. Bruce had reached over and was softly rubbing Clint’s leg in an effort to comfort him. 

Steve knew it was rude to stare so overtly, but couldn’t seem to bring himself to look away, eyebrows furrowed, thinking. 

Before the war, Steve had never seen a man cry so obviously in front of others. Even young boys who cried got labeled as a “girl” or a “pansy.” They would be ridiculed everywhere they went, and Steve knew more than one guy who had been pestered like that, only to be never seen again. As a kid, Steve had never cried in front of anyone but his ma and Bucky, and by time he had gone off to war it had been drilled into him that it wasn’t manly to cry, and he would only fall apart in the comfort of his own bunk. 

But now, here in the 21st century, people seemed to have no problem with men showing such affection. Clint didn’t seem concerned, and none of the others were ridiculing him, only giving him comforting touches or looks of sympathy. The line between masculinity and femininity that Steve had thought was rigid seemed to be constantly blurring in front of his eyes. 

It was… confusing, and Steve didn’t quite know how to grapple with this newfound information. 

He must have been staring for too long, because eventually Tony turned to Steve from where he was looking at Clint, his own eyes shiny with tears. Tony noticed the scowl on his face and raised an eyebrow, but Steve just schooled his expression into something more comforting, and rubbed Tony’s thigh with his toes. Tony smiled back softly, returning the gesture before turning back to the movie. 

Steve took one last look at Clint and Natasha before turning back to the movie.

It seemed he had some thinking to do.

\----

The second time Steve noticed something was a few weeks later. He had just gotten back to the tower after his morning run and was starving. Rather than heading for the shower, he went straight to the communal kitchen, desperate for an apple, or something, just to hold him over so he could get clean. 

He walked into the kitchen with the intention of leaving after getting what he needed, but paused. Despite the early hour, both Bruce and Tony were sitting at the kitchen table. Bruce was eating a bowl of cereal with his feet propped up on one of the extra chairs, and Tony was resting his head on his hand, quietly sipping a cup of coffee. 

“Morning Tony, Bruce. I’m surprised both of you are up this early,” Steve said, grabbing a banana from the fruit bowl on the counter before walking over to the cabinets to get out a glass for some juice. The sugar would do him good for a few before he cooked himself an actual breakfast, at least. 

“Morning, Steve,” Bruce said, before going back to his cereal.

Tony, who had sat up excitedly upon Steve walking into the room, walked over to Steve before stopping just short of him. He looked down at Steve’s sweat-soaked shirt and grimaced. 

“I would hug you but you’re gross,” he said, and Steve rolled his eyes. 

“I know. I’m only here for a second then I’ll go shower and come back to make eggs and bacon. You’re both welcome to have some, but I need to shower first. No one wants sweat in their eggs,” he said, opening the fridge and pouring himself a glass of orange juice. He leaned back against the counter and watched the two of them.

“Well…”

“No, Tony. That’s gross,” Bruce said, scowling at him. 

Tony just pouted and sat back down at the table next to Bruce. 

“Spoilsport,” he grumbled, then paused, staring down at Bruce’s feet. “Natasha’s work?” 

Steve tilted his head curiously and looked down to Bruce’s feet. From the counter he could only see a flash of bright green on the toes, and it looked a lot like…

“Yeah,” Bruce said, sitting up and looking down at his feet. “Her and I have been having some late night talks when neither of us can sleep. I did hers while she did mine. It helps her calm down, I guess.” 

“Green. Very on trend,” Tony said, humming and going back to sipping his coffee.

Bruce snorted and shook his head. “I didn’t have the heart to tell her no.” 

Steve just continued staring at the bright pigment, glass still clutched in his hand. He swallowed thickly and bit his lip. Maybe… maybe he could get Nat to do his sometime? That might be nice. The feeling of _want_ that coursed through him at that threw him off guard, and he tightened his grip on his glass instinctively before forcing himself to relax, not wanting to shatter it. 

He threw back the rest of his juice and put his glass down on the counter next to the sink with a little more force than necessary, walking out of the room. He paused in the doorway, turning back, looking at Tony, Bruce, then the color on Bruce’s toes, the bright green shining at him, almost taunting. Tony was staring at him now, looking concerned. He opened his mouth to say something, but Steve cut him off. 

“I, um. I’ll be back in a few to make those eggs,” he said, taking one last look and swallowing thickly before bolting out of the room, ignoring Tony staring at him like he was a puzzle to be solved. 

\----

The next time it happened, it was a few months later, and summer was just around the corner. Every day felt like it was getting hotter, and Steve was starting to prefer running on a treadmill to the heat of the outdoors, and he hated running on a treadmill. 

It was one of the few weekends Tony had managed to get an actual day off from Stark Industries work, and had declared it a pool day for anyone who had free time, which was everyone except Bruce and Clint. Steve was currently on his way to the outdoor pool (not the indoor one, Tony had emphasized), towel wrapped around his shoulders.

As soon as he pushed the balcony door open, though, he paused. Both Tony and Thor were standing facing each other on the edge of the pool near the lounge chairs, Thor glaring while Tony gestured around wildly; Natasha was lying on a pool floatie, sunglasses on, fully ignoring them both.

But the thing that caught Steve’s eye was what both Tony and Thor were wearing. They were both wearing the exact same crop top, bright pink and flowy with the Avengers logo on it. It had been a joke merchandise item Tony had come up with a few weeks ago, but he had apparently actually made up some of them. 

Steve walked up to the two of them, eyes trained on first, how good Tony looked in his, then getting distracted by how Thor looked in his own. Despite his large size, the crop top fit him well, and he almost had a gentleness about him, though that was eliminated by the scowl on his face. 

Upon noticing Steve walking up to them, Thor looked up, giving him a small smile. Tony then turned around to see what had Thor distracted, and beamed at Steve as well.

“Hi, Steve!” he said, bounding up to Steve and wrapping his arms around Steve’s waist. Steve’s arms came up to wrap around Tony’s shoulders instinctively. 

“Hi, Tony. Hi, Thor. What are you arguing about?” he asked, looking down to Tony, then up to Thor.

Thor rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. 

“Anthony has declared that he looks more appealing in this shirt. This is false.”

Steve held back an eye roll of his own and looked down to Tony, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I am absolutely more attractive in this!” Tony exclaimed, still holding onto Steve. “Come on, Steve. Tell him.”

“Sorry, Thor. I have to go with my boyfriend on this one. But I’m biased,” Steve said, ignoring Tony’s victory screech. 

“Very well,” Thor said, nodding solemnly. Then he perked up, looking over to the pool. “Natasha?”

Steve and Tony looked over to Natasha as well. She was still lying on the floatie and didn’t even look over to them.

“My vote is Thor.”

Thor beamed at that before shedding his crop top and jumping into the pool. Tony groaned dramatically, leaning into Steve. 

“I can’t believe this,” Tony moaned.

Steve just chuckled, rubbing his hand against Tony’s back. The fabric of the shirt was surprisingly soft, much softer than any shirts Steve owned. He slid his hand down to the hem of the shirt at Tony’s back, rubbing it between his fingers. Wearing it probably felt nice. Maybe not in the heat of summer, but it seemed… comfortable. Almost delicate. And the color… Steve didn’t own any pink. Maybe he could get away with buying something like this sometime. 

Tony looked up at Steve from where he was pressed against Steve’s chest, and Steve realized he had been standing there rubbing the fabric for a few seconds too long, and he ripped his hand away as casually as he could. He tried not to look guilty. 

Steve looked away from the shirt and into Tony’s eyes where that puzzled look was back. He didn’t seem upset, just curious, searching Steve’s gaze for _something._

Suddenly, Steve’s palms felt sweaty and he could feel his cheeks heating up, so he pulled himself away from Tony. He tossed his towel onto the lounge chair nearby and walked over to the edge of the pool, sitting down on the edge and sticking his feet in the water. When he turned back to look over his shoulder, Tony was still watching him.

“Coming?” Steve asked, hoping Tony would leave it.

The look faded from Tony’s face and he smiled at Steve.

“Sure thing.”

\----

A week after Tony’s self-proclaimed mini pool party, he and Steve were getting ready for a gala. Steve really, really hated these things. They felt too reminiscent of his USO days, being forced to put on a polite smile and make nice with hundreds of strangers for hours when he’d much rather be home cuddling with his boyfriend. 

He knew Tony felt the same, despite his years of experience with charming socialites, which made him feel better. If he was lucky, Tony would goad Pepper into letting them duck out early and they could watch a movie before falling asleep, but Steve knew that was probably a pipe dream.

Steve was currently sitting on the end of their bed, buttoning up his shirt when Tony walked out of the bathroom, nearly ready, hair fully styled. He looked incredible, and Steve couldn’t help but trail his gaze up and down Tony’s form. Tony grinned at the scrutiny and leaned up against the dresser casually.

“Almost ready?”

Steve nodded and buttoned the last button near his neck before reaching for the tie he laid out next to him.

“Wait,” Tony said, and Steve looked up at him, then frowned. Tony looked nervous, a small frown on his face. 

“What?”

“I, uh, have something for you,” Tony said, then turned around and dug through the drawer behind him. He pulled out another tie and brought it over to Steve, standing between Steve’s spread knees. 

Steve’s breath caught in his throat once he got a good look at his, and he felt heat flood his body. From mortification, or want, Steve didn’t know, but he just continued staring at the tie. 

It was a pale pink with a cascade of flowers all over it, soft darker pinks and greens, and Steve both wanted and didn’t want it so much his brain practically stuttered to a stop. 

He watched as Tony unraveled it and carefully looped it around his neck, staring down at Tony’s hands as they tied it for him. As Tony finished, Steve looked up at him, and he had no idea what his expression looked like. It must have been something desperate, because Tony was still frowning slightly.

“If you don’t like it, it’s okay,” he said, voice softer than Steve had heard him speak before, and Steve shook his head.

“No, no. I… I love it,” he said just as quietly, and Tony’s frown turned into a grin. His hands came up from the tie and cupped Steve’s neck.

“By now I know what it looks like when you want something, honey.”

Steve furrowed his eyebrows at that, having no idea how to respond. Tony seemed to understand, though, and just ran a hand through Steve’s hair, no doubt messing up the effort Steve had put into making it look good, but Steve couldn’t find it in himself to care. The touch felt nice, and Steve melted into it.

“Tomorrow, I have some websites I’d like you to look at,” Tony continued.

Steve had no idea what Tony was talking about, but let it go, giving Tony a small nod. Tony hadn’t led him astray yet; Steve trusted him. He’d look at whatever Tony wanted. 

Tony beamed and stepped back from between Steve’s knees and walked over to the dresser where there was a vase of flowers, a gift from one of Tony’s various admirers, but Steve hadn’t wanted them to go to waste. Tony picked up one of them, snapped it at the stem halfway, and walked back over to Steve. He titled Steve’s face up with one hand, fingers soft along his jaw, and tucked the flower behind his ear with the other.

“There. You look beautiful,” Tony murmured, petting Steve’s jaw and neck.

Steve felt the blush cover his face and spread down his neck, and he swallowed against the lump in his throat. He ducked his head down, pulling away from Tony’s grasp, trying to hide his pleased smile. His whole body felt warm and he had no idea how to react. 

Tony’s hands dropped from Steve’s face and he dropped to his knees, ducking his head to meet Steve’s gaze again. The grin on his face was nearly blinding; he looked like the cat that caught the canary, and Steve was overwhelmed with everything he felt for the man in front of him. Tony’s hands came down to cover Steve’s knees, and he could feel the warmth of them through the fabric of his pants. 

“So pretty,” Tony said, and moved forward to press a soft kiss to Steve’s lips. 

Steve’s heart fluttered in his chest and he pressed harder against Tony’s lips, trying to pour all of his love into that simple gesture. He could feel Tony’s lips curve into a smile, and Steve couldn’t resist doing the same. His hands camp up to grasp Tony’s face, thumbs rubbing over his cheeks, and Steve felt Tony laugh against his lips.

After another moment, Tony pulled away, much to Steve’s disappointment, but looked equally disheartened. He stood up and held out his hand to Steve.

“Come on, we’re gonna be late.”

“Okay,” Steve said, still smiling, and let Tony lead him.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are appreciated!


End file.
